October 1st, 2008

notting hill

Post to Gary Messenger from the Clemente Program

In response to a poem Gary wrote (that was editted by MG):

I never knew my father well
he was always there, as if i could tell
his brutality was an inherited one
passed on & on from father to son
he worked hard night and day
at least that’s what he would say
to put some food on our plate
but all I needed was a friend, a mate
the things he gave me were important ones,
lessons of life that seemed so dumb
he never looked inside of me
to see the things that I could see
a life of youth with reason to fight
but never quite finding that distant light

You’re stupid, stupid, stupid & dumb
thats what I’ve got for a son

a boy within with mistakes to make
with opening eyes and a world to take
venturing out to the world around
with a narrow vision too what I found
Anger, Darkness, Envy and Greed
your gift to me, your life, your seed
his brutality was an inherited one
passed on & on from father to son

You’re stupid, stupid, stupid & dumb
thats what I’ve got for a son

my teenage years for I’m nearly a man
responsibility I accept the best I can
lessons in life I could have been taught
well at least you would have thought
Instead I struggle to learn them right;
as I try to stay on track, looking in to the light
It gets harder and harder to stay on track
self-esteem and guidance are the things I lack
I stumble and fall I feel like a burden
I feel in myself I really am hurting
A negative thought the first one I’m feeling
from the rest of the world I must be concealing

You’re stupid, stupid, stupid & dumb
thats what I’ve got for a son

well that’s it, he must be right
and I have lost the will to fight
I thought I had a talent somewhere,
something to give something to share
but I was mislead confused deceived
that my talent would shine If I believed,
now my feelings are down to three
Anger, Hate & Stupidity
until this time my feelings were strong
that fate was pulling me along
I had a place a meaning a future
but now I know I’m only a dreamer
this thing I inherited at my birth
is in my mind- the thing that’s first

stupid, stupid, stupid dumb
thats what I’ve got for a son

well now I’m older and wiser as well
my future is brighter as far as I can tell
I’m smarter & stronger and the guidance I lacked
I’ve found for myself and I’ve taken it back
self-esteem wasn’t on your list
one of the important things that you missed
I was stupid and ridiculed beaten and broken
held on my bed turning blue from a chocking
the wrongs I have commited in my life
will be paid by me x trice
so if that punishment fits the crime
I will always be able to pay in time
this thing I inherited at my birth was molded
and folded by you at first

You’re stupid stupid stupid dumb
I’m your creation that’s what you’ve done

Hi Gary,

My name is Roselie and I am a third year here at ACU. Im studying high school teachin through a BT/BA course and I am hoping to one day teach my joy and passion for English, Business Studies and Religion. That's a little about me just so you know that we are all in this together and are sharing a similar experience here at uni. If you don't mind, tell me a little about your hopes and dreams and where you're from...

Reading this poem gave me shivers - that's a fabulous reaction to have given a reader! It highlights your amazing ability to express a moment with precision and accurate focus - something many of us third year students still find difficulty doing! I love that i hear a certain broken, saddened and then hopeful voice throughout the poem ringing in my head...it makes the experience come to life! Obviously a highly emotional and personal subject for you to write about, i would just like to congratulate you on your courage and thank you for sharing your story, because that is what literature is all about - sharing your story in any creative way that you can. You are great! Keep them coming...

Roselie

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